Tuesday, 23 December 2008

Social Inadequacies.

Hello, I have approximatly 34 minuites untill I need to go catch my bus (that's fast maths for someone who failed their maths gcse twice, shh) so here I am writing nonsence for you lovely people. I could have wasted my time on skype but my internet is being very slow for me today, so I would have just sounded like 'MHHRF...MEEP...FRHHINBHVGLIGFTDNJJ...' and no one wants that.

I speak really oddly in these posts, you Mr/Ms Reader must think me some sort of purley queen because the tone of voice thats in my head as I write this in is one that resembles Russell Brand :/ Don't ask me why... Irl I just sound like a toddler who's just awoken from a skip.

I know some lovely people over the internet, and the more I'm on here the closer I get to them which is great, I find it so much easier to communicate through text. If I make myself look stupid I can just sign off and wallow in my retardedness,but in a real life social situation I can't just walk away and never see that person again so I get scared of what to say. I only seem to be able to be normal around people I know really well.

This is getting deeper than I expected it to be.

I'm really shy and quiet and I wish I wasn't, i wish i could just say what I want and run around and still feel I have peoples aproval. I know you will say 'Oh you shouldnt need peoples aproval, I'm sure they like you, you shouldnt care, just be yourself' and I know all that, but whenever I'm in a social situation my mind just goes blank, I never know the right thing to say.

I don't know what I can do to change this, It's like I'm stuck with this mindset and social awkwardness and I can't escape.

I don't know whether I should post this...
Okay I will, but only so Lawrence can find out how retarded I am :)


Ash said...

I've been refreshing my homepage to see if you've posted. I feel like such a stalker.

Lawrence said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Lawrence said...

Wow.. that really is deep...

I tried writing a long response, which ended up worse than my (deleted) attempt via Twitter. So I deleted it and put this (worse, unfortunately) crap in instead.

I like your posts. One paragraph is one thought on a web page, the next paragraph is your next thought, which is how writing should be. So yes, you're cool on the internet.

However. Where does it come from? You. If you say something silly in real life, it's not the end of the world... and they'll judge you just as much as via email, 'txt', chat, Skype or anything else - it's just how you respond.

Yes the internet boosts confidence, but I don't think you need that boost.

Ah crap. Just realised I've done the same thing as you in your post. Meh.

Luke Beaumont's Design for Digital Media Blog said...

I think it is a lot easier to "be yourself" online .... I don't know why I think this .... it's just how I feel!

Anonymous said...

What you have said is very true and I agree with you :)